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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157159">only us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowinmikaelson/pseuds/glowinmikaelson'>glowinmikaelson</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Dear Evan Hansen References, F/M, Rina Week 2020 (HSM: The Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:15:04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24157159</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/glowinmikaelson/pseuds/glowinmikaelson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>it wasn't much of a secret that he was in love with her. nor was it that she was in love with him. she just wasn't ready. that she wouldn't get her heart broken just didn't feel possible. after two years apart and with a song that was there when unsaid feelings were confirmed and now when they reunited, it's just them. </p><p>and suddenly...it's not so impossible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ricky Bowen/Gina Porter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>only us</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>day 2 of rina week! i really really really love this song and i love dear evan hansen so so so much. i also love rina so so so much. this might be a little too long but i had trouble with feeling like i was rushing it and also it being too long. i don't know which it is, but i hope you like it if you read&lt;3 thank you if you do. </p><p>another shout out to rina book club for making rina week happen bc seeing everyone's talent come out and reading everyone's works that are so beautiful and so good....this is why i am a rinanation enthusiast. i love it here!&lt;33333</p><p>(also! there's a few f bombs in this, just a heads up!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“Gina,” Ricky says urgently, staring into her eyes with an emotion she can’t bring herself to accept. "Gina, listen to me. Just—just listen, okay?" He licks his lips and grasps onto her hands tightly, preventing her from leaving the dance floor. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What if it's us and only us?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn't look at him. Her body had transformed into one of armor, a steel shield that would protect her from what he would say next. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn't bear to hear it. She didn't want to.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Can we try that?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Gina, I love you," he cries. "Can you please look at me? Can you?" he drops her hands to grasp her face gently and turn it towards him. "Gina? Gina, are you seriously going to stand here and pretend like you didn't know that I've been in love with you for the past year?"  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina doesn't say anything. She feels a shit-ton of sudden moisture on her cheeks, gathering around his palms that hold her face. Her heart feels heavy. She hears their song playing in the background as other couples slowly dance around them, and his rapid breathing and the way his heart beats loudly in his chest, and she can smell the combination of her vanilla scent and his minty one on his collared shirt. She realizes that it's on his arms, in his hair, embedded deeply into his suit, and it hangs in the small space that existed between them—where they stood, on the dance floor.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At their senior prom. Gina's senior prom. The prom she didn't want to be ruined. The prom that she made him promise he wouldn't fuck up.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But he did. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He fucked with it. He completely fucked the entire night up. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And all she wants is to get away from him. But her feet remain glued to where they stood, and her thick armor of steel isn't falling anytime soon.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And what if that's all that we need it to be</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>His hands are still on her cheeks, wet with her tears and the makeup she had paid tons of her own money for, that he had also fucked up. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And the rest of the world falls away?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck, Ricky!</span>
</p><p>
  
  <b>
    <em>What do you say?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>It's what she wants to scream, what she wants to say.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she doesn't.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Instead, she rips his hands off of her cheeks and walks away, furious and hurt, stunned and completely pissed, not being able to believe that he broke their promise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She was going to Colombia in the fall, and he was going to UCLA. They had planned it. They had discussed it at great lengths; that they would remain best friends and visit each other and not forget each other. That they would stay, friends, all summer, and ignore any kind of feelings they might have developed for each other that wasn't platonic.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina hadn't forgotten how much it hurt to be forgotten. How much it hurt to leave people behind.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Ricky leaving her behind? She couldn't fucking handle it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She couldn't. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn't going to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Fuck him and fuck what he had just done. He had just ruined everything.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She stumbles into the women's bathroom, ignoring the nosy looks from a few girls inside. She walks past them and shuts herself inside of the big stall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She wipes the tears on her face away with the back of her hand and looks down at her dress. Ricky had picked it out—emerald green, perfect for their prom theme of "Under the Sea." She shouldn't have let him choose anything she wore that night. Not her shoes. Not her dress. And certainly not the white orchid corsage on her wrist. Gina scoffs at it and screams.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The sound bounces off the walls of the bathroom stall, and she hears footsteps retreating and the sound of the bathroom door opening and closing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Their stupid song is still playing. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina shakes her head, her heart aching in her chest, and she hates Ricky. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hates him because she knows why he did what he did. She hates him because he ruined prom night, and he messed up their plan, and she hates him because she understands. Gina hates Ricky because she's in love with him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But unlike Ricky, she was going to keep her promise. She wouldn't fuck with their plan. No matter what she felt for him.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>The world falls away...</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>She wasn't going to risk being left behind with nothing but a broken heart. </span>
</p><p>* * * * * * * </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Two years later — summer back in Salt Lake City</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He's not coming," Nini grumbles in annoyance,  staring at Gina, who was looking out into the crowd of dancing adults. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina turns to Nini and raises an eyebrow, pretending not to know what she meant. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Who's not coming?" she asks dumbly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But she knew who Nini had meant. Because Gina </span>
  <em>
    <span>had </span>
  </em>
  <span>been looking out into the crowd, hoping for a glimpse of his messy head of curls. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nini rolls her eyes and shrugs. "Whatever," she says in a sing-song voice, indicating she knew Gina was thinking about him. "I'm going to go grab a drink. Want anything?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina mumbles something about liking a beer and a thank you, and Nini leaves her alone by the poolside. Gina looks around again, trying to find a familiar face at Kourtney's party, but quits a few seconds later when she doesn't see anyone she's interested in to talk. Gina sighs and begins to fidget, bouncing from one leg to the other. She watches a few adults make out in the pool, and she narrows her eyes, now making a game out of whether she could recognize any of </span>
  <em>
    <span>them</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It's not until a splash of water hits her bare legs, catching her by surprise that her attention is brought back into the present. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You never could stay away from the water, could you?" a voice asks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Upon hearing it, a chill runs up Gina's spine, and her heart jumps in her chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina turns to face the person she had been hoping all semester that she would see again when she got home. But then she was home and was suddenly hearing that Ricky Bowen didn't come home early in the summer. Word on the street (through their parents) was that Los Angeles kept him busy the first couple of weeks before he finally went home for the summer to spend it with his dad. Gina had been disappointed, up until earlier that day, when her mother told her Ricky was home. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And then Kourtney was throwing a party.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Gina wasn't going to miss a chance of seeing Ricky again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She hadn't gone home last summer, deciding to stay in New York with a friend, instead of paying the airplane ticket home. She didn't regret it. She only regretted that it meant she couldn't see her best friend. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And now he is standing in front of her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina turns to Ricky, and her mouth closes. He's a lot tanner, and his hair is still a messy mop of curls. It's lighter. Way lighter than the chestnut curls from two years ago which she used to pull on when he was being annoying. Gina's heart falls, and she does her best to hide her disappointment. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>What had she expected? That he hadn't changed?  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Of course, he had. Gina knew he had. She had been keeping up with him on social media for the past two years. But seeing him in person was different. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> He felt different. At least to Gina. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Ricky," she breathes out. She was doing well in hiding her disappointment, but not so well in hiding the fact that she was a little stunned that he was standing in front of her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky seems to have been studying her as well because he wears a small frown-turned grin. His eyes are still the color of warm honey. However, she wonders if they still belong to the same boy who crushed her at Monopoly every Saturday night her junior year, and to the boy who hated musicals but never once let her do Broadway karaoke on her own.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Gina," he says, a chuckle coming out of him as his eyes flit from every angle of her face. From her curls to her eyes, to her mouth, and back to her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina wonders if she feels different to him as well.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another splash of water hits her bare legs, and she looks down in embarrassment, wiping the water off with her hands. Ricky takes a drink from his cup and hides his smile behind it. Gina clears her throat when she looks at him again, trying to ignore the memory that they were both probably thinking. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You wanna go inside?" She asks him, biting back the laugh that threatens to come out of her.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky nods and turns to lead the way, allowing Gina to look over him thoroughly. The entire him. He wasn't the skinny kid anymore that towered a few inches over her, as his build was bigger, stronger even. She imagined falling into the pool and being caught by him. He would probably love that as she recalled the last time that happened. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She pushes the memory away, remembering what she had done that horrible night. The night he ruined everything, changed everything. The only night she had thought about every night as she went to bed for the last two years. The night that she had ruined everything changed everything. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They walk past the drink table where Nini is laughing with Kourtney, and when she sees them, her eyes widen. She waves half-heartedly at Ricky, who waves back, and once he's passed, she gives Gina the 'Oh, shit. He came?' look. Gina doesn't say or express anything. She only takes the drink that Nini hands out to her. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina follows Ricky into Kourtney's kitchen, where he takes a seat on the kitchen island, sliding the bowls of food down to make space for Gina to sit next to him. He glances over to her and grins, lifting a shoulder. </span>
</p><p>
  <span> "Wanna sit?" he asks shyly. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina bites the inside of her cheek as she looks him over, avoiding his eyes when she finds herself walking over and hopping onto the kitchen island beside him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He clears his throat and takes another drink from his cup, and Gina tries to take in the way he feels beside her. The warmth emanating from him, between them, their shoulders barely touching...Gina's suddenly feeling everything she felt two years ago, and everything she pushed down when she was away from him. She wonders if he'll ever forgive her. Or if he was even angry or hurt by her in the first place. She felt sure he was. If he had done to her what she had to him, she would have been more than hurt. She would have been left utterly broken. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Maybe she already was, and it wasn't because of what he had done. It was because of what she had done. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Amid their small moment of silence and Gina's thoughts, they hear a familiar song started playing in the living room. Broadway karaoke never ends with theatre kids. Gina's heart begins to beat against her chest, and she feels Ricky fidget slightly beside her. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't need you to sell me on reasons to want you.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"What are you thinking?" Ricky asks, almost whispering. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina ignores the song playing in the room next to them and takes a swig from her cup and swallows the awful taste of wine cooler and beer mixed. Nini sucked at making drinks. "Um, not much," she mumbles and laughs. "How are you?" she asks him, finally saying fuck it and turning to look at him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky looks at her too, and she notices how once again, he can't stop himself from studying her face. Did she look that different? She didn't think so. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You don't have to convince me.</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"Do you really wanna know how I am?" he jokes, hinting at the fact that he knew it wasn't what she wanted to ask or say. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Ricky was right; Gina already knew what he had been doing the last two years--the parties, the jobs, the friends he made, and what he had been up to in LA—it was all over his social media. Gina found herself loving the way he still knew what she was thinking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had cursed him for it two years ago, but she had grown. She should have never been angry at him for what he had done. If anyone should have been angry, it was him.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>You don't have to be scared you're not enough.</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Gina laughs and scrunches her nose, nodding that he was right. "I mean I do, but...not in the way I said it," she mumbles. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So then ask me in the way you want to say it," he suggests, his voice lowering and sounding softer as if they were the only two people in the room, and she was the only one he wanted to be able to hear him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>As if the rest of the world fell away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Did I hurt you?" Gina blurts out. She turns sideways to look at him, her knee leaning on his leg, as she searches his face. "Are you mad? Did what I did to you piss you off? Did you hate me?" She asks, communicating with her eyes that she wants to know the truth and, most importantly, that she's sorry.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>I don't need you to fix what I'd rather forget.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky places his drink in the small space between them, and Gina finds herself leaning in closer because he still owns that minty scent. It lingers in the small space between them, and she wishes for nothing more than to be able to close that space someday. To make it disappear. For it to be gone the way her insecurities and ego hadn't been able to two years ago. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Clear the slate and start over</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckles softly. "You broke my heart, Gi," he says to her, not breaking their gaze. "For some reason, you were and still are the only girl who has ever broken my heart," suddenly he's smiling, and Gina is frowning. "But I was never mad. Or pissed. And I never hated you." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gina wishes that comforted her, but it doesn't. It only makes her feel worse. She had fucked everything up...not him—her.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I was…" she starts but fails to say what she wants. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Try to quiet the noises in your head.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We can't compete with all that.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"Scared. I know," Ricky says gently. "I know. And how couldn't you be?" he scoffs. "I was an idiot to do what I did, thinking that saying I love you was enough to erase all of your fears," his shoulder touches hers, and Gina's frown deepens at what he's saying. "You had shared them all with me. And there I was in a stupid ass suit on prom night that you had been so excited for, thinking that I could 'fess up and suddenly be your knight in shining armor. That saying I love you would make you believe that going to college didn't mean I was leaving you or that you were leaving me."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Ricky says earnestly. His eyes are shining with regret, and Gina hates the way that it makes her heart fall. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Gina says. "I'm sorry. You were the only constant in my life here in Salt Lake and at East High, and you deserved better. I'm sorry, I wasn't better." </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And what came before won't count anymore or matter?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Can we try that?</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky scoffs loudly at that. "Are you kidding me? Gina—you were beyond better. You were everything. You are everything. You're the whole damn world," he says with so much honesty and sincerity that Gina wonders why the hell she ever thought he would hurt her. "It's not that you weren't 'better,'" he continues. "You just weren't ready. And it hurt like fucking hell for a bit, but I got it."</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>What if it's you</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"You got it," Gina mumbles, awed and overwhelmed. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And what if it's me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky picks up his cup to take a drink, and Gina takes one from hers as well. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>So I give you ten thousand reasons to not let me go.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>He was still the same Ricky Bowen—the boy she used to call her best friend that stuck fries in his nose whenever she was upset. He was still the same boy who read to her when she was sick, or binge-watched shows with her on the days she couldn't get out of bed. The one who caught her when she tripped and almost fell into the pool their sophomore year. He was still the same boy who had confessed that he was in love with her the night of their senior prom. He was still the boy who had bought her that white orchid corsage, mumbling that he had picked it because it symbolized how perfect she was and how much he respected her. He was older and sure, maybe LA had made him tanner, perhaps even altered the chestnut curls on his head, but he was still him.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>But if you really see me</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>He was still that boy who understood her better than anyone else—the one who knew her better than she knew herself, even after two years apart.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>W</span>
  </em>
  <b>
    <em>ell, that's all that I've wanted for longer than you could possibly know.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>"You're the only girl who's ever broken my heart," Ricky speaks. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry," Gina apologizes emotionally, a lump beginning to form in her throat.  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"No," Ricky laughs, shaking his head. "You're not getting it." </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>And what came before won't count anymore or matter.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We can try that</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Gina asks, confused at the kind smile that he wears.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "You're the only girl who's ever broken my heart because you're the only girl my heart has ever belonged to," he tells her, watching his words clicking in her brain. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>It's not so impossible.</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Nobody else but the two of us here</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Gina's heart warms, and her face heats up as she blinks away the tears that threaten to spill from her eyes. "Oh," she breathes, just like she had when he found her by the poolside.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Cause you're saying it's possible</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Ricky bumps his shoulder with hers. "So, maybe this time, don't cut me off. You only have me for three months," he jokes lightly.  </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>We can just watch the whole world disappear.</em>
  </b>
  
</p><p>
  <span>Gina's lip trembles, and she leans over to wrap her arms around his neck tightly. The same way he had grasped her hands that night, where she thought they had ruined everything, and in the same way, he had held her face and poured his heart out to her. She squeezes him harder, hoping he got what she was trying to say. </span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>'Til you're the only one I still know how to see</em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>When his arms wrap around her torso, and he buries his face in her hair--the scent of vanilla, closing all space that once existed between them—she knows he has.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>It's just you and me...</em>
  </b>
</p>
  </div></div>
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